I haven't written a blog in forever. I haven't really felt the need to.
Okay, that's a lie. I haven't really had the motivation.
I haven't had the motivation to loose weight either. I've been eating a lot lately. Every time I eat, I wonder to myself if I'll throw it up. I usually don't. I promise myself I won't eat the next day, or if I do, that I'll only eat fruit. I break that promise every day.
Now, I'm ready to get back on the pro-ana band wagon. I'm slowly starting to bring my obsession back out of the shoebox under the bed. I'm scared and I'm excited. I hate myself either way, I might as well look good doing it.
I found a cool work out. It's easy, for the most part. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AimPOSXe7n4 check it out. Last night, I also started a music video. I might make another youtube account and post it. Maybe. Maybe not.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Purging + Salsa = ouch
Hello, my wonderful, imaginary readers! It has been a while, almost a month, since my last post. Some new developments....
This weird thing has been happening to me: bulimia. I'm a piggish whore. I'm very wrapped up in myself and I'm very selfish. This makes me very gluttonous. I eat and eat and eat and eat and eat. And that is very, very bad. I've realized that this is bad, especially because it makes me gain weight like a bear before hibernation. So I went the easy way out and make myself throw up. I don't do this every day but occasionally, I feel the need to consume as much as I can and then vomit.
Today, I managed not to eat too much until around four PM. I went upstairs, pulled out a box of cereal, finished it off (there was only enough to fill a bowl, poured in some soy milk and ate it. I went on to another type of cereal, a bagel, and ramen. I scarfed it all down,then went downstairs to grab a towel and take a shower. This is only because my father and his whore were home, and I needed something to cover up the sound.
So I purged. I got up all of the ramen and even some of the cereal. the bagel seems to gave disappeared....
Now, I'm just finished eating a whole cup of salsa. No chips, just salsa with a spoon. Because my throat was raw from the purge, the salsa hurt like a bitch. I also had crackers, which helped, and now I'm eating fruit.
So that was my day, not that anybody actually reads this crap. Have a good, imaginary day!
This weird thing has been happening to me: bulimia. I'm a piggish whore. I'm very wrapped up in myself and I'm very selfish. This makes me very gluttonous. I eat and eat and eat and eat and eat. And that is very, very bad. I've realized that this is bad, especially because it makes me gain weight like a bear before hibernation. So I went the easy way out and make myself throw up. I don't do this every day but occasionally, I feel the need to consume as much as I can and then vomit.
Today, I managed not to eat too much until around four PM. I went upstairs, pulled out a box of cereal, finished it off (there was only enough to fill a bowl, poured in some soy milk and ate it. I went on to another type of cereal, a bagel, and ramen. I scarfed it all down,then went downstairs to grab a towel and take a shower. This is only because my father and his whore were home, and I needed something to cover up the sound.
So I purged. I got up all of the ramen and even some of the cereal. the bagel seems to gave disappeared....
Now, I'm just finished eating a whole cup of salsa. No chips, just salsa with a spoon. Because my throat was raw from the purge, the salsa hurt like a bitch. I also had crackers, which helped, and now I'm eating fruit.
So that was my day, not that anybody actually reads this crap. Have a good, imaginary day!
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