Sunday, November 15, 2009

check it out

My frog is creeping down...
I am 127 lbs as of ten minutes ago. It's one tiny pound away from my goal weight 1.

I'm proud of myself, except for the fact that I can't seem to stop purging. I've purged practically every night for the past two weeks. Today (well, i guess yesterday) i had 1 grapefruit, a bunch of vitamins, and a diet mountain dew. 100 calories. Wonderful. but then, i stared watching tv online. I got anxious. I started munching on some candy that I left on my window sill.
I ate two mini boxes of nerds, 4 starburst, and 2 packets of pez candies (those things are a lot more disgusting than I remember them). then i went down stairs and grabbed 4 ice cream sandwiches. What compelled me to do that is beyond me.
I ate it all, considered not purging, pressed play on the show i was watching, paused, asked, "who the hell am i kidding?" and then went to purge.
Wonderful night.

I got a new bed, a new desk, a desk chair, and a bookshelf. My father got pissed that i didn't express my gratitude (probably because I would rather sleep on the floor on my pillows as i have been for the past 2 years) to his pigwhore of a girlfriend for spending what was apparently 1100 dollars. I don't know why he thinks this new house will make all of our family problems just disappear. I still hate him.

anyway, i'm off to sleep now, even if it is 7 in the morning.
Loves,
~Willow

Friday, November 13, 2009

Whoop Whoop!

Today went super well. Yesterday was crap, I binged and purged. Twice.
Today, I super restricted and lost 1.6 lbs.
I had half an apple for breakfast (40)
I finished it at lunch (40)
I'll have some baby carrots and mustard for dinner (35 ish?)
Total: 115.
I'd say that's a good day.

I made index cards with my goal weights, rules specific to that goal, and rewards for when I get to it. (Ex: Goal Weight 1: 126 lbs. I can't watch Stargate until I get there. When I do, I get a Saturday of a Stargate Marathon) They're very encouraging.

Well, this morning, i weighed 130.0
Right now: i weigh 128.4.
2.4 lbs away from GW 1

Wish me luck!

Love,
~Willow