I got weirdly depressed today. It was extremely strange. I lost a pound or two, and I had only eaten 70 calories. But I was in a very down mood. So I finally gave up and ended up eating 5 (yes, five) pieces of toast. Each one had peanut butter and honey, and two of them had banana on it.
Toast: 100x5 = 500
PB: 200x5 = 500
Honey: 60x5 = 300
Banana: 100x1= 100
Total: 1900
In about 15 minutes. That's a real binge, in the clinical, medical sense of the word.
So of course, I spent the following hour purging that. >.< Fail.
The toast and Peanut Butter definitely made the unsafe food list I made just before I cleaned my room.
This purge session put me into a very productive mood, the one I was dying to have all day. I drew a picture, titled "Bulimia." it's quite colorful. Then i talked to my Ana buddy for a while. (Oh yes, I made a friend! Yay!) Then I made a safe/unsafe food list, that I expect to grow soon. Then I did a load of laundry while i was cleaning my room. I even offered some support on live journal, where there seems to be a glaring lack thereof, before posting here!
Before i go to bed (it's almost 5 AM, i should get around to that soon) I'm going to make a plan for business/exercise/diet for tomorrow. I think I'm just going to go ahead and jump into the ABC diet. It'll give me good, attainable goals.
Hope your day goes well! Take care.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Fast, 1,2,3,4, ABC.
This weekend has been terrible. Not okay, not bad, but hell on a stick horrible. Today was worse.
I binged about a million times and for some reason, can't find it in me to purge. I'd rather not be purging at all, honestly. Instead, I'm going to try to restrict.
I'm also going to try not to weigh myself until Saturday. Partly, because I don't need to be discouraged if I gain a pound because that is part of what has been setting off binges. Another part of this is because even my father has admitted that our scale isn't entirely accurate. It's one of the old ones with the spinning dial.
Here are my stats:
5'4", BMI: 22.0
HW: 133
CW: 128
UGW: 108.
GW1: 120
GW2: 115
I might not be quite there by Saturday, but I want to hit by first goal by then. To do that, I'm going to fast tomorrow, just to collect my thoughts, and get my head on straight, then I'm going to do a 1,2,3,4 diet. Which is not unlike the 2,4,6,8, only less calories. After one cycle of 1,2,3,4, i'll start ABC.
I binged about a million times and for some reason, can't find it in me to purge. I'd rather not be purging at all, honestly. Instead, I'm going to try to restrict.
I'm also going to try not to weigh myself until Saturday. Partly, because I don't need to be discouraged if I gain a pound because that is part of what has been setting off binges. Another part of this is because even my father has admitted that our scale isn't entirely accurate. It's one of the old ones with the spinning dial.
Here are my stats:
5'4", BMI: 22.0
HW: 133
CW: 128
UGW: 108.
GW1: 120
GW2: 115
I might not be quite there by Saturday, but I want to hit by first goal by then. To do that, I'm going to fast tomorrow, just to collect my thoughts, and get my head on straight, then I'm going to do a 1,2,3,4 diet. Which is not unlike the 2,4,6,8, only less calories. After one cycle of 1,2,3,4, i'll start ABC.
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