Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Well, that failed.

I got weirdly depressed today. It was extremely strange. I lost a pound or two, and I had only eaten 70 calories. But I was in a very down mood. So I finally gave up and ended up eating 5 (yes, five) pieces of toast. Each one had peanut butter and honey, and two of them had banana on it.
Toast: 100x5 = 500
PB: 200x5 = 500
Honey: 60x5 = 300
Banana: 100x1= 100
Total: 1900
In about 15 minutes. That's a real binge, in the clinical, medical sense of the word.
So of course, I spent the following hour purging that. >.< Fail.
The toast and Peanut Butter definitely made the unsafe food list I made just before I cleaned my room.
This purge session put me into a very productive mood, the one I was dying to have all day. I drew a picture, titled "Bulimia." it's quite colorful. Then i talked to my Ana buddy for a while. (Oh yes, I made a friend! Yay!) Then I made a safe/unsafe food list, that I expect to grow soon. Then I did a load of laundry while i was cleaning my room. I even offered some support on live journal, where there seems to be a glaring lack thereof, before posting here!
Before i go to bed (it's almost 5 AM, i should get around to that soon) I'm going to make a plan for business/exercise/diet for tomorrow. I think I'm just going to go ahead and jump into the ABC diet. It'll give me good, attainable goals.

Hope your day goes well! Take care.

2 comments:

  1. I could write a book but I wont. I have the same stats as you weight and height wise and have been 124 at 5'4 for 2 years. I always fluctuated a few pounds and I have been emotionally eating for the past 2 months..I am up to 132, which I have not been for a couple of years. A month ago I stopped weighing myself because i got the bright idea to take hydroxycut which I have never taken a supplement before so now I am HUGE! I guess I am feeling lost because the world tells me to eat and I hate it. Its like I get caught in this balancing act of keeping everyone happy but keping my secrets inside. I guess I need encouragment that it wont take as long as I am thinking it will to get back to 124. In Januaury I was 124 and wnated to get down to 115!!! I am a runner and go ot the gym at least 3 times a week but I intend to go back to 5 days a week. Any other suggestions other than fasting?...I dont know if I can follow through on a fast . I LOVE feeling empty though..maybe I should try a fast? Thanks for listening!

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  2. I know it's been a month, I'm sorry I haven't really been on here for a while. I don't know if you're gonna get this or if you'll even check this.... but here goes:

    As of now, our stats are pretty much exact. I've never actually completed a fast, and I haven't been loosing much at all. In fact, I've been gaining. I'm not exactly the person to give advice right now. I read somewhere about a diet called the Kekwick diet that apparently just burns fat. It's kind of weird, and I've never done it. Google that, it might be something you're interested in.
    Also, apparently Ana Boot Camp works. One girl lost 35 pounds on it.
    http://community.livejournal.com/anabootcamp/5000134.html
    If that's not inspiring, i don't know what is.

    I hope I've helped some. Good luck!

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