Gross. >.<

So I've gotten pretty good at ignoring the fact that I'm fucked when it comes to school. And I'm pretty good at bullshitting teachers so they've gotten pretty good at ignoring it too.

I've realized I go through phases of ana, mia, and over eating. I'll starve myself for a few days, or eat like a rabbit when I do eat. Then I'll binge, feel shitty about it, then purge. That usually lasts about a school week. At the end of that school week, I'll stop purging because I stop eating so much or I'll eat a combination of food that is absolutely disgusting to come back up. (like ramen and chocolate ice cream. ick.) Then I'll just eat more. Then I gain a little weight and feel gross, so I stop eating again.

The result is that my weight goes from 125 to 128 to 130 and back down again each week. I think it's fucking up my heart, simply because it doesn't know how hard to work.

I've convinced my friend (who has just about the same bmi, she's a little lighter than I am but she's a lot shorter) to go to the gym with me tomorrow at noon. I plan on working very, very hard.
As for tonight, I plan on going to our school play, put on by the advanced drama class. They suck, but okay. I'm only going because my friend is one of the student directors (she's a great director, just doesn't like acting and her actors are lame.) and because i have to be there later for strike anyway.

Starting tomorrow, i'm going to try going a week on a 500 cal diet. Yay for goals. even though i suck at keeping them.
p.s. sorry for this really long, long post.
OH! and did you notice that Freewebs froze Ana Academy!?! What the hell is that?