Fucking Cake

Damn it Damn it Damn it!

Once again, I failed.

I made it a day and a half. I didn't have anything to eat for at least 36 hours. I was feeling weak. Very, very weak. I was craving peanut butter. In hindsight, it seems like it might have been the better choice. I decided that it would be better to allow myself to break the fast healthily as opposed to getting weaker and weaker until I binge.

I let myself cut up a banana and a couple strawberries and put them in a bowl. I ate those, but I wasn't satisfied. I looked in the fridge and staring back at me were those damn things of chocolate cake. There were noodles and eggs and biscuits and tortillas and they all wanted me. I reached for the deli veggies and ate half the container. They were in some kind of oil dressing but for the most part, the dressing had sunk to the bottom and I was able to avoid it. I still wanted more. I lost control. I hate both pieces of chocolate cake. CAKE. after a fast. Sooo healthy. >.<

And I had lost 6 pounds! SIX! I'm aware that I would have gained some weight back after I finished the fast but at this rate, I'm just going to go back to where I started. FUUCK.