Tired and feeling sick

Due to lack of motivation, which is a bullshit reason, I haven't done my Biology homework. I also haven't done my Spanish homework, or written or practiced the "in my opinion" speech I'm supposed to give in English tomorrow. I've completely ignored the fact that I have any history homework, and I have an entire chapter of Math to do.
Any normal person would be overwhelmed. I think I'm past the ability to be overwhelmed. Maybe it's shock, maybe it's an inability to give a shit. Either way, I'm numb. It's all just useless fact, that while it has everything to do with me, my current state of being, my near future, and my distant future, it simply doesn't apply. Like seeing the stars through a pane of glass. They're all so wondrous, but they're distant and separate. They don't apply to the world inside your room.

I didn't go to school yesterday. I didn't go to school today. I'm hoping my father will let me bullshit my way through yet another day.

I've consumed less than 50 calories today. I've had 3 strawberries, a slice of tomato, 5 servings of green tea, an Acai berry pill, and a Bromalite pill. In a weird twist of fate, I'm now about 125 lbs. Kind of ridiculous.
I'm craving fruit and vegetables. I want the food. I'm also craving chocolate, but I think that's just because I'm PMSing. >.<

I told my friend about the fast. She'd like to do the same as me, but her dad is a chef. She supposes her mom will back her in a 3 day juice fast, but probably not in a green tea/water fast.

I don't know if it's the caffeine or the green tea magic trying to make my body repair the damages done by purging but my throat is raw. Maybe that will serve as an excuse not to attend yet another day of classes.

I'm feeling weak. In body, mind, and spirit. My body is exhausted from running on empty all day. My mind is set on pause because the rest of my brain is trying to figure out what the hell to do with all this random ass stimulus. My spirit is discouraged. Despite the fact that I'm loosing, it all seems to be in vain. What's the point? Why not seize the day and eat that little square of chocolate cake sitting upstairs on the counter, wrapped in cellophane?
Why? Because I know that if I do indulge, I'm never going to find any willpower. If I don't do this now, I'll never be able to. And for that, I will go from disliking myself, to loathing myself.

I need someone to tell me to keep going. Someone to tell me there is reason to this rambling rhyme. Will I ever find a purpose?

- Willow.