10/10/10

bleh. i feel like crap. i've been eating a shitton here at my new home. i feel heavy and weighed down and sick.
We had spaghetti and salad tonight. I put dressing on my salad, mistake number one, took a HUGE serving of spaghetti, got a HUGE serving of seconds.
today i've also had:
4 cups of apple juice, 2 pieces of bread, peanut butter galore, and a vinte java chip from starbucks. And a mountain dew.
after dinner, i just feel like purging. I won't, because i respect this family too much and i'm so thankful for them to even give a damn enough to even make dinner to just waste all of their care by literally flushing it down the toilet.

the past two days i've been very anxious and very depressed. I'm not sure why. The dad here makes me feel uneasy. i know he shouldn't, he's never said or done anything mean to me. On the contrary, he's letting me live in his house. But that's not really all. I keep thinking about reaching out to the family, but the mom is so controlling, it's hard to get close to her now that i'm on the inside. I think my friend's little sister has her own problems, and we're not incredibly close to begin with. My friend tries. I know she does. but sometimes i push her away, and other times, one or both of us is in a cycle of our day when we just want to be alone. But when i need her she's there for me. I'm so thankful for that.

Points:
ABC day 8: 400 cals
Cals Consumed: Unknown. >.< again.
Food: 0
Water: 1
Exercise: 0
Post: 2
Challenge: Sunday is make up day. I've organized my room (2 for sat) and I finally studied for spanish that i've been procrastinating on, so 2 for today.
D8/lbs-1/46
CW: 124